he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
