Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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