Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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