My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
