There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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