i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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