Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
