I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
