new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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