it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
