just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
