She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're a waste of cheezeits
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
