T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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