I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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