just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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