saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
