We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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