he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
