Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
