I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
