If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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