I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
