I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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