he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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