i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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