i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My vagina is officially offended.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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