Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
