I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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