What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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