Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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