yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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