How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
