the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
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we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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