I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
