Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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