we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
