i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
