I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
