weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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