She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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