Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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