Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
