i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
