In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
