And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Everything about him screamed your future.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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