So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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