They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
