Having a random hookup so left but love u
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
