The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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