this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
