there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
