Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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