my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
