Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
