OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
