I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
