He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Me too!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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