my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have fence marks all over my body
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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